Are you living in an SNP baby box?

Photograph: Pexels

Baby boxes. The latest freebie from our paternalistic SNP government. Now that all parents have been provided with a baby box by the Scottish Government and have been giving their verdict to the media (generally a good thing. A lot of stuff not necessary for the second child etc), it’s getting to the point that the nationalists are intent on turning the entire Scottish nation into one giant baby box for us all to coo and gurgle to our hearts content in.

Like any domineering, but negligent parents they are trying to vicariously live their teenage hopes and dreams through their children. Projecting their own insecurities onto us all and passing down their own neuroses onto the rest of society.

We are repeatedly admonished for making the wrong political decision in 2014. It’s almost like we had a mind of our own and made an informed choice, like the freethinking adults we are. The domineering parent of Scottish nationalism is unable to comprehend that anyone else might disagree with them on a subject as important, to them at least, as Scottish independence.

Unfortunately, they also have a major addiction issue. They have been taking ‘independence’ for decades now. Like all addicts, it controls all other aspects of their life. It isn’t healthy and the majority of us voted for them to come off their addiction. We tried our best to wean them off by telling them ‘No’. In fairness they tried to go ‘cold turkey’ in the very early morning of the 19th of September 2014, but they only managed to last a few hours before they relapsed in a major way and were straight back to ‘Independence’ despite the majority of us pleading with them to ‘stay aff it’. But with so little else going on in their lives, a total relapse was only a matter of time really.

Like any alcohol or narcotic-addled parent, they feed us the political equivalent of baby food. Mashed up, flavourless slop that only provides us with the basic political nutrients required to function. Unable to come up with anything more substantial this slop will have to do for us all. It probably won’t lead to healthy cognitive development in the future, but that’s irrelevant.

Despite the addition, there are times when they try to lead by example, to set a moral standard for the rest of us to live by. This has led to the Scottish First Minister stating that she would have been happy to have a refugee family staying at her residence. This noble sentiment should be welcomed. However, this has yet to happen well over a year later. This is the equivalent of being sent to Church on a Sunday morning, while your parents stay in bed. Utter hypocrisy and yet another attempt at ‘virtue signalling’ by the SNP.

The SNP’s attempt to treat us like children extends down to their use of language and slogans, particularly to their own supporters. I saw people wearing ‘See me, I’m SNP’ badges at the Scottish Airshow in 2015. A patronising and juvenile slogan, if ever I saw one. Social media is awash with earnest appeals to ‘Oor Nicola’ as if she is able to save you from your own horrific life choices.

The Hollywood star Alan Cumming gushingly compared Nicola Sturgeon to a ‘Well-mannered yet rampant lioness.’ More worryingly he called the Scottish population ‘her lucky cubs’. Interestingly, some synonyms for cubs include adolescent, minor, babe and pre-teen. Although only the opinion of one out of touch Hollywood star, there are numerous people in Scotland who would reflect this fawning viewpoint.

As we further deviate and rebel from the reach of our nationalist parents, they come to be even more domineering, controlling and start to infiltrate areas that had previously been sacrosanct. Rather than nosing through our journals, they are nosing through civic society, an area that should be beyond political discourse.

Where I live, there is a very prominent independence organisation who run food banks and organise the Christmas Street Party. While I applaud some of their efforts in this regard, why do they need the term ‘Independence’ in their title? Surely the large canvas banner with ‘independence’ that they display at one of their food drives is a bit unnecessary? Can you envision the furore that would be kicked up if I started a ‘British Unionist Foodbank’.

Charity ought to be ideologically and politically free as far as possible. There is a reason Pudsey the Bear isn’t covered in symbols of nationhood.

This side of Scottish nationalism is arguably more insidious than the more vocal side that makes the news. They are associating a political ideology with charitable aims and outcomes, with community events and good times.

My feeling is that this allows pro-independence sentiment to be associated with philanthropic and charitable objectives. This makes it extremely difficult to counter effectively. By attacking it you’re seen as extremely poor-spirited and spiteful. At best, it would be seen as curmudgeonly. It allows the political ideology behind the efforts a totally free and unhindered rein over the political and social culture in Scotland.

I have also witnessed a local SNP politician covered with the SNP logo and saltires at a remembrance event a few years ago. Remembrance Sunday is a chance to remember all the British war dead, not just Scottish.

Like all rubbish parents, the SNP and the larger cause of Scottish nationalism have never told their supporters ‘you aren’t allowed to do that’. No one is ever told ‘no’. The former Scottish independence activist, Ewan Morrison said that:

‘This was what YES had started to mean – it meant YES to everything – everything is possible – so don’t question anything. You couldn’t talk about what would happen after the referendum because then all the conflicts between all the different desires and factions would emerge’ (

Another author has stated that:

‘At the same time, the Yes campaign tapped the people’s message and sapped their power, shaping a passive electorate that looked up the SNP for its guidance and direction’ (Roch Winds: A Treacherous Guide to the State of Scotland, Luath Press Limited, 2016)

Who else looks up for ‘guidance and direction?’ The childlike appeals of many nationalists to ‘Oor Nicola’ make more sense now. Sometimes it’s okay to tell people no. You cant do everything you want and sometimes there are consequences. Despite what the singer Gabrielle told you, dreams often don’t come true. If they did come true I would have taken Britney Spears to my school dance when I was fifteen.

Ultimately, we have a Scottish Government with a strange combination of paternalism and neglect. Significant areas of our development are being viewed with indifferent eyes: education, healthcare, infrastructure and policing are all worse under the SNP’s insidious addiction to ‘independence’.

In Scotland now, we don’t even have to plan for the birth our own children and many people expect the government to fire a magic bullet that will erase all negative issues in their life, even if some of them are of their own making.

Nationalist ideology is starting to creep into civic society and everyday life, where it doesn’t really belong. This is particularly worrying as these areas are supposed to be a ‘safe space’ from political interference.

Sadly, none of this is likely to change until our overbearing ‘mother’ and her party has their political wings clipped a bit more. Whether this will happen, I don’t know. Unionist votes are divided into three major parties, pro-independence voters only have one major party to vote for: The SNP.

In the meantime, I’ll be in my baby box if anyone needs me.


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David Bone 29 Articles
David is a graduate of the University of Stirling and holds a BA (Hons) in politics. Since graduating he has been employed in the third sector. His writing interests include Scottish and British politics, international relations, ideologies and megatrends.

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