1. Drink Coffee
Every warning handed down to me of the perils of slogging through 24 days of Edinburgh Fringe Festivities centred on one ubiquitous chemical: alcohol. I stopped drinking years ago so when everyone else is nearly pushing up daisies in the wee morning hours, I’m chasing bunny rabbits up Arthur’s seat.
TIP: Make sure you find like-minded friends to share the late nights with. Good news: there is always a comic or two who is trying to quit booze for a whole twenty-four days that will sit across from you in a shaking fit, while you wax philosophic on life, comedy, and of course yourself.
2. Pamper Yourself
There are hidden spas and steam rooms all over the Fringe – get in em. These veritable gardens of Eden were revealed to me last year. Ever had a steam before stand up? My friend, you haven’t lived….
3. Read Comics
The brain needs fuel. There are at least four comic book shops within a mile radius of the city centre: load up to get you through those late and lonely nights.
Obviously. Pick up one of those guides to the city that normally would be sticking out of the rucksack of a large North American man with a sunscreen blotch on his nose. Edinburgh is the world’s Disneyland (for lack of a better term – sorry. Disneyland truly sucks. This could be an entirely different piece in itself).
5. Go to any show that isn’t stand up
This list is obviously for comics. So, to my fellow comics, I say, go see anything that is not our medium. Nothing is more inspiring or humbling than seeing that there is a whole other world of people who also think they are geniuses clawing for recognition from three to four people who work for a beer company (yikes – that last sentence was more bitter than a can of Australian beer!). Seriously, to see other people in completely different mediums can inspire beyond measure. The festival is vast, utilise the entire pool.
6. Hang Out On Bob Slayer’s BlundaBus
Not much gets into the spirit of the Fringe like a crazy man in a captains hat who has parked a bus that he turned into a bar/venue in the middle of the city. Watch out – Bob gives kisses.
7. Go Past the Meadows
Did you know there is another city out there? Yeah, I swear…just once during the festival walk past the meadows to discover what is basically Scottish Narnia. A great place to go on the lam from the festival.
If there’s one thing that can give you a leg up on anyone at the festival, it’s this. I recommend a solid twelve to thirteen hours of sleep a day. That seems to keep me in top shape. Best thing about the festival is somehow people allow you to indulge in this much REM because apparently, we are ‘working’ up here.
9. Play ‘Find Phil Kay’
If you are lucky enough to wander across his path, where he will be playing the guitar to no one, singing a sweet tune to the ether, this Scottish relic will impart a zen-like wisdom upon you, which is guaranteed to enhance your mental state.
10. Go See My Show!
Holy hell, can you imagine if I was serious? REAL TIP 10: Beware Relentless Advertisers.